what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
