As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
