Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
