i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
