Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
