I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
