I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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