He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
