Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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