Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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