So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
