I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
