My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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