apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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