I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
When did angry sex become our thing?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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