im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
