Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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