My liver just broke up with me...
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I could fuck to npr.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
