Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
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