Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
