I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
