this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
If I die, sorry about rent.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
