party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
