i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
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