Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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