I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
