So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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