I hate your face
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
