just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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