just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
