sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
