I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
