thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
