By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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