Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I feel great
I just peed on a car
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
