3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
