East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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