that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
