Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I love you. Go after that dick
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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