sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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