Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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