in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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