You just made me feel so damn special
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
i now understand why vodka
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
tell me about the fingering
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