Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
