No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
