So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
