it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
