Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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