we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
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