I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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