UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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