I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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