would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
